An experience of a lifetime.

Oh what a week.
What a wonderful, emotional week.
I can't believe I just used wonderful and emotional in the same sentence.
I left for Thespian Leadership Camp on Tuesday and returned home yesterday.
I have never had a greater experience.
I learned an incredible amount about myself during those four days.
I don't even know where to begin... It was just so eye-opening.
One of the primary focuses of this camp was trust. Trust in yourself. Trust in your troupe. Trust in those around you. One of the first activities we did was called Step Questions. As a group we were asked a series of questions relating to opinions, gender, etc. and we basically made known our stance. What was said/occurred in that room stayed in that room, but let me tell you. Some of those things I saw the people in my troupe stand up for or step forward for broke my heart.
Activity number two for trust was a trust walk. Basically, we were all blindfolded and in groups were lead through various obstacles around the camp by the SSO officers, the sponsors and those who had already done the walk the years prior to. It was a major challenge for me, being the control freak that I am. Even Mr. L said it would be. I managed to go through with it though, and I'm grateful I did. It taught me that I need to place my faith in others occassionally and realize that not every person is selfish and willing to let me fall. Brent even tripped in an effort to keep me standing.
Number three was troupe trust. As a group we did a series of trust excercises that taught up to support each other. I even managed to place enough face in my friends to fall backwards into their arms off a table. Major major major step for me.
On another note. I cried. Thursday night. I cried. I cried a whole lot. My emotions got me, and for anyone that knows me, that does not happen. In fact, the two most emotional people in our troupe (Davis and Melissa) didn't shed a tear.
It all began with the closing candlelight ceremony. Our sponsor (Mr. L) told us what we mean to him and the theatre program as a whole. It also acted as a good-bye to Brent and Juan, who graduated this past year. When Juan started crying it set me off. Him telling me that he saw a lot of himself in me made me so incredibly proud. He's such an amazing individual and has done so much for our program. I can only hope I'll make as big an impact as he did. My tears were not only for him leaving though. I finally composed myself as he took each person to the side individually, but one thought still weighed heavy on my mind. I would be in his position come the end of this school year. Apparently mind face gave away my state of sadness, because Mr. L approached me and asked what was wrong. I just admitted it to him, something I'd never do (I blame the trust excercises). I was completely distraught about leaving Greenway. I'd worked so hard to build myself a place there. The thought of leaving behind the newspaper and theatre was heart-wrenching. He simply told me I still had another year to continue to enjoy it. Naturally I told him, that wasn't the case, I still had to leave eventually. He looked me in the eye and told me, flat out, "Amanda Dallas. You've done so much for the theatre program, and Greenway in general. I have no doubt that you will be successful. You have MUCH greater things to do in this world." That meant a lot. I always talk about how I have these big dreams and goals and want to accomplish them, but hearing someone say to me that there's no doubt I'll achieve great things makes it so much more tangible.
And on a final note. I am officially a Student State Officer on the AZ State Thespian Board. It's an honor. 35 students ran, 13 of us were selected. I really didn't think I'd get it because I did spend my time at camp sucking up to the SSO's deciding the fate of the board. I just acted like myself and tried to have fun. I'm extremely grateful for this opportunity, and can't wait to get started.

All-in-all,
this camp was much needed.
And I didn't even realize it.
I now see what I need to change,
and how I can go about doing it.
It restored my faith in my ability.
It restored my faith in others.
It restored my faith.

-Dallas
"I'm gonna live until I die."