A free spirit, fenced in by expectations.

It's been six months since I pledged to complete my list of 100 things to do in '08. I wrote that list solely for the purpose of forcing myself to try new things, and basically reinvent my life. I constantly want change, and in January my state of mind was set on it. I craved a change of pace. I craved new goals. I craved new experiences. I craved a taste of rebellion.
It's June now, and my cravings are being fed. I guess this technically began at the beginning of the year when I started spending more time with Nathan and fighting off advances, yet again, from the boy who first layed eyes on me in October. Anyway, back to now.
I don't know exactly how to phrase this, in fact, I've had a hard times with words in general in the past month (lack of Accelerated English class everyday?), but I'll do my best to explain what I'm getting at.
I guess people would say I've become more rebellious, but in reality, I've just let go of my restraints. I'm a free spirit fenced in by expectation. Everyone knows me as the overachiever. The kid who walks the line between breaking and following rules. The girl who has class, morals and wouldn't dare touch or do anything illegal. Of course, I am an overachiever still and have both morals and class, but really, I'm not as "refined" as one would think.
The crowd I've started to run with is one in which I can be myself 100%. I don't need to sit back and plan out/contemplate every step I take before I actually take it. I can just roll with the punches. I mean, just this weekend alone I've done things I never would've thought of doing back in January. Getting pulled over, egging, partying with college kids, etc.
Along with noticing that I've changed, it's caught my attention how much I really am like my father. Illegal activity, but never getting caught. Talking his way out of any situation. Intimidation being his biggest weapon. Wreaking havoc.
All in all, I think I'm liking this change. I've still got class, morals and I believe I'm still a good person. The same good person I always have been. I'm just able to show the world who I actually am. I'm a free spirit, who's broken through a fence of expectations and left it in a million tiny pieces.

- Dallas
Life isn't easier for other people,
we're just better at faking it.